Don't Pause

Pause. Let's just say that you have the omnipotent pause button. This button allows you to stop time and bask in the moment. It allows you to stop time for a time. I have been reading my bible with the intention of getting through it as fast as i can. One of the biggest benefits of this type of reading is to see the stories in relation to one another or rather to see them as one story instead of separating them from one another. 

I am in exodus. Genesis to exodus. Creation, fall, restoration, hardships of living in a fallen world, murder, mass destruction, new promises, Abraham, the beginning of the nation of Israel, the multiplication of the Hebrew people, slavery in Egypt. This is just a rough list of events and not In the least comprehensive. In this list is Adam and eve, fall of mankind and the promise of jesus coming to win the most epic of battles. Cain and Abel come next, their is a story of envy and murder. We walk through a list of names and find the deep corruption of mankind who's thoughts are continually wicked before the lord. Enter a whole bunch of water. 

But hope is rocking in an ark and waiting the dawn of a new day, a new beginning. Noah plants grapes in his new world and makes wine. Men begin to gather together and plan to be like God, the tower is made. This tower is so big and reaches so high that God is forced to take a seriously long journey to check it out (irony intended). Men are dispersed all over the earth and God confuses their language. You start to see new communities pop up. We meet Mr. Abram. He is called by God to be the father of nations. Abram obeys God and it is credited to him as righteousness. He is Abraham now. He And Sarah have Isaac. Isaac is the son of promise. Isaac marries Rebekah. Two nations fight in her womb. Enter Esau and Jacob. God gives his blessing to the younger brother. Jacob gets a new cool name after he wrestles with man and God, Israel. 

Joseph is Jacob's favorite son born to him from Rachel. Joseph is not a favorite with his brothers. They sell him into slavery. After 13 years, Joseph stands before Pharaoh. He is raised up after betrayal, slavery, imprisonment to be the most powerful person in Egypt save Pharaoh. He is restored to his family. They all move to Goshen and God multiplies them exceedingly. 

Joseph dies and the new pharaoh does not know the God of the Hebrews. He sees that the Hebrews are many and orders all of male infants to be thrown into the Nile. Moses is born at this point in the story. His mom sees that he is a handsome boy and hides him. When he can no longer be hid, his mom makes him an ark. She puts it in the reeds of the Nile near the princess's bathing spot. She sends Miriam to hid near the arc. The princess's hears the cry of Moses and takes pity on him. She keeps him as a present from her god. Miriam appears and offers to fetch a nurse for the baby. Guess who she goes and gets......that's right, her mom. 

Moses is weaned and moves into the palace. He knows he is a Hebrew and sees the oppression of his people. He raises his hand to spare one of his brothers the wrath of an Egyptian. He kills the Egyptian. pharaoh hears and wants blood for blood. Moses flees. He heads to Midian and finds a wife there. Mosses has children and becomes a shepherd. One day he sees a fire in the distance. He checks it out and there meets the god of the Hebrews. He has seen the affliction of his people and wants to save them so that they can come to this mountain, Mt Horeb (the mountain of the Lord), to worship him. God will send Moses to stand before Pharaoh to deliver the message. Moses does not want to go. God wants him to go. Moses goes. 

I am sitting in the hospital. Jason is sleeping. They just came in to put a new IV in. They tried yesterday but could not get it in. They like to change IV's every four days. They even brought in an ultrasound machine yesterday to find a vein. But today his veins co-operated. And sleep is his reward. 

What if in this little narrative of sickness I stopped time. How about night one when Jason woke hotter than hot acting like a crazy man. How about day two when pain, fever and vomiting ravage his body and threaten him to despair. Pause here. I was scared. I knew that things where getting worse. Jason is tough, he was built Ford tough. He does not scare easily. Pause button off. Time to act quickly. We go to the hospital. I entered his room with a mask on. Signs on the door warned of serious infection. They ordered blood to be ordered, lots of blood. Waiting. Spinal test ordered. We were in that room for 7 hours before they admitted him (my back is still demanding new chairs to replace the old ones). Spinal tap. Four vials of spinal fluid. Let's pause here. Whatever is going on is serious. Jason looks like death and is still not in his right mind. What if..... So many what if's are possible at this moment. But I replace them with thanksgiving. Thankful for so many things. Jason being someone to be proud of at all times, in sickness and in health. Thankful to love him so much. Thankful for friends watching our kids. Thankful for constant texts asking what can we do to help. Thankful for all of the people praying. Thankful for the doctor in the ER. Thankful for 3 bags of fluids that they poured into my husbands veins. Thankful for antibiotics that save lives, that saved his life. 

There have been some intense moments over the last 5 days. If I paused the crisis times I would forget that I am in motion. That this story is not stagnant but going somewhere. That it is not an isolated story at all (Jason was quarentined and we did feel quite isolated!). The stories of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are a part of me. I am to remember them, says the Lord. I am to recall them. I am to teach them. I have been praying that God would write his word on my heart. That his word would be found deep inside of me. I have been praying to see things through the stories of scripture. 

Thankfully we cannot pause time. It goes on even if we do not. Forgetting that we are headed somewhere brings a lot of unnecessary drama. Forgetting who we are is also damaging. Our default button is set on "old man" status. Forgetting the story that we are apart of is dangerous because it can be tantamount to forgetting our God (God constantly instructs us to remember). Joseph was wronged again and again. He had a dreams before his betrayal landed him in a pit. He had the stories of his father. The stories of how his dad wrestled with God. The story of how he married his Rachel, Joseph's mom. Of uncle Esau and the wrestling matches he won even though Esau was the stronger one and the first born. Joseph was not a normal man. 

He had incredible hardships come his way. In his pain and bitter trials he had the stories of his father, grandfather and great grandfather. He had his dreams, visions of things to come. Not many people have the father of nations for a great granddad. He had these stories in slavery. He had them when betrayed by Potiphar's wife. He had these stories when he was in prisons and forgotten again. He had these stories when he stood before Pharaoh and God exalted him. He had these stories when he saved the very family sold him into slavery. He had these stories when he secured the land of Goshen for his family. God wants us to have these stories too. When things are hard, we remember. When things are good, we remember. Bitterness sets in hard and deep. Why? Because we tell the story over and over again until it becomes second nature to think it. What if we meditated on the Word of God with the same passion. 

What if we stopped "pausing" time during hard times. What if we looked ahead when things are hard with the stories found God's word as a filtering device for what we are presently walking through. It is in remembering our story that we have the strength to endure our current trials. It is in remembering where we are going that we find strength to keep walking in hardships. God sees. He saw Joseph in the pit. And he restored all to Joseph and then some. This is the same God that we serve. We have the same promise. Promises of God keeping us and exalting us. When we are in the pit, we remember that this isn't the end of the story. We remember God's word, God's promises, God's work in the saints that have gone before us. And crying in the pit is not a problem. God comforts His people. There are times when we need comfort. This is not a sign of weakness. I am talking about refusing to get out of the pit when you are rescued. Refusing to go form glory to glory. 

Joseph went from pit to slave to imprisoned slave to elevated slave in pharaohs court. Faith has eyes to see that his progression was from glory to glory. But it is in staying in the pit, pausing in our hardships in a way that refuses the grace of God that is the problem. Joseph had to have courage to be a slave in a foreign land. I am sure that Joseph cried. I am also sure that God comforted him in his distress (look at what he named his son). We do know that Joseph was blessed by God as he was enslaved, imprisoned and at court with Pharaoh. We know that he was faithful when things where hard. But this is what we remember when things are hard. 

Faithfulness does not pretend that things are easy when they are hard. Faithfulness remembers God when things are hard. Faith is the substance of things not seen, hoping when things look impossible, faith remembers the saints that have gone before us and walked through valleys to come out on the other side shouting praises to God. We are honest about where we are. A Christian should never despair. That is what I am talking about. We have hope be cause of Christ. We have the stories of our fathers to look to in times of great need. 

Here is to getting the Word of God deep down in our hearts so that we never forget him or forget to give him the glory as he unfolds our story. And may our stories inspire the saints to walk with courage and obedience. And may they reveal the light of Jesus to those sitting in darkness.