The Book of Numbers

I am in the book of Numbers.  Loving every bit of it (ok, the numbering of the people in all of the tribes was a bit rough).  Korah and the earth swallowing him up.  The bit about the spirit of jealousy coming over a husband.  The 12 days of sacrifices that took place, one day for each tribe to sacrafice, sanctify the alter.  The spying of the Land.  Internal struggles as princes lead their tribes to doubt God.  God sending a disease that wiped out thousands.  Aaron and Miriam having their own little rebellion that leads to Miriams uncleanness and exile.  And do not forget the unnamed man that collected sticks on the Sabbath.....he had a very rocky ending! Miriam dies.  Aaron dies.  Phineas stops the plague with his manly javelin skills.  The number of rebellions found in this book is unbelievable.   In it all we have a beautiful reminder of what God is doing.  God is taking a people, a people that are His and He is drawing near to them.  That is what He is up to.  That is what all it is about.  He wants to be near to His people.  The book of numbers is full of stories about rebellion.  God's people keep pushing Him away.  Look at what He has done for them.  And yet they still want to go back to slavery.  They have forgotten what their God has done.  They remember the pleasures of slavery in Egypt but refuse to see the pleasures that their God has given them.  He wants them to be near.  He wants them close. This generation is stiffnecked.  They perish in the wilderness because of their unbelief.  This book is full of warnings.

 We are God's children.  He has gone to great trouble to be near to us.  We should be Joshua and Caleb in this story.  We are to believe that God can and will bring us through the wilderness.  We are to thirst after His ways and not the ways of the world around us.  We do this by remembering and being thankful. God's story is not just to be known by us. It is to be loved. We know his ways, walk in ways, delight in His ways and continue on in His ways. We love the law and meditate on it day and night.  We teach His stories, our stories faithfully to our children.  We walk before them, showing them how to be true sons and daughters of the Most High God.

The stories found in numbers are full of lessons.  Are we Korah?  Are we the bickering princes that cause others to stumble and lose their way?  Are we Miriam who murmurs against God's chosen?  Are we the grumblers in the wilderness who despise the food of the Lord?  Are we forgetful of what God has done for us?  Or can we say that we are sisters of Joshua and Caleb.  Faithful to Moses as he walked before God and led a stiff necked people. We follow Joshua into the promised land with confidence of victory because we know what the Lord has done and what He has promised to do.  We should be people of courage.  Do we look at the giants in our own story and shrink back?  Or can we say with Caleb and Joshua, "lets go to war now for the Lord will deliver our enemies into our hands!"  We pray for this kind of courage in the story we are in.  We all have our giants.  But we also have God as our Father and deliverer.  So we walk in the strength of Lord, knowing that He has led us into the wilderness so that He can bring us into the glorious promised land.

Our culture is bankrupt. We should not be tempted by what they have. They offer the same thing that Egypt offered Israel......slavery.  We need to renew our desires and seek after righteousness. We need to teach our children to love what God loves. We do this by loving His ways and keeping our own hearts from idolatry and vain things.  "Think not on worthless things," says Psalm 119.  Guard your hearts and your minds and keep the book of Numbers close when you are tempted by the ways of this world.  The stories found in this book should knock some good ole sense into our straying hearts.  The basic lesson is this:  idolatry and grumbling lead to death in the wilderness. Following, believing, and remembering our God leads to a land flowing with milk and honey.  Super easy to decide which one is best.  Super easy to slide into rebellion when we are not being diligent to keep the idols out. Idol minds lead to idolatry in the heart.  Stay vigilant!  Fight the good fight and learn to follow Joshua and Caleb into the promises that God has for you. 

Life On Steriods

Life is good.  The weather is an amazing 63 degrees.  My kids are at soccer with dad.  I talked to two of my sisters today.  Man do I miss you ladies.  I think you all need to come down here with your kids and we can just have a fun time in the sun together!

I went to the doctor today.  I did not want to go.  Jason wanted me to go.  I went.  I told Jason on the way that we should never, never do the steroid thing again.  I finally feel that it is all of out my system from my last round with that nasty stuff.  It makes you feel horrid.  It tempts me to act horrid.  And boy is it bad on the face.  I mean really, I puffed up like a cheese puff.  Not a good look for me.  So I decided on the way to the doctor today that I probably just needed a round of good ole antibiotics to kick what has been getting me down.  I went into the doc (who is a friend as well) and put on my happy face.  I gave him my symptoms with a calm and cheerful disposition.  I mean really, if you where there to hear me you might start cracking up.  "What seems to be the problem?"  I like to start my answers off with a note of,  "oh not much I just have not seen you in a while," kind of way.  I did say that I deserve a frequent visitor card.  For my sisters, they know that this is a big deal for me.  I do not like going to the doctor.  I avoid it at all costs in fact.  I often hear from my doctor that I wait too long to come in.  So I know that I am not a crazed hypochondriac....I have many temptations but this is not one of them.  Back to the conversation.  I did tell him that I woke the other night choking and coughing and having a hard time recovering.  I have been super short of breath, coughing up some beautiful green stuff, having chest pain, and (imagine this) having a hard time sleeping.  All of this and more was said in a super chipper tone.  He listened to my lungs for a while.  My doctor is awesome.  He is a christian and a man that I respect.  He is not over dramatic but calm and clear.  He told me very calmly that I need to go back on steroids   I do not sound good and I need to go on the good stuff for 15 days.  We are hoping that this 15 days does not turn into 3 months like the last time.  He said that my air flow is restricted which is troubling because I am on a high dose of an inflammatory inhaler already and this should not be happening.  This is what is going on inside of me: I can breathe in just fine, it is the out breath that is the problem.  I can not get all of the air out.  This is why my chest hurts so bad.  I have air in there that is puffing my lungs up like a balloon ready to burst....not a pleasant feeling I assure you.  I am short of breathe for this reason as well, and waking in the dead of night with horrible asthma attacks.  He also gave me an antibiotic because I have some type of infection.  It may be a sinus infection or it may be bronchitis but he said that it does not matter which one it is, breathing is the real problem.  This is when you know that do not have the "normal" run of the mill kind of health issues.  If you have had a sinus infection or bronchitis, you know that they are enough to put you out for a while.  But this was a minor detail in todays visit.  Super encouraging......I think not.  But I did get some super good news today.  I am in the middle of a root canal.  I do not like going to the dentist.  The good news is, i get to delay my root canal for a while because he cannot work on my while I am steroids!  I loved canceling that appointment today.  Here I was, sitting on the doctors bed and ready to accept this trial is not over.  I did keep calm.  I trust him.  I will take the nasty stuff because I know that I have to.  I will suck it up and feel like junk for the next while because I have to.  And in it all I really am thankful.  Is it hard, yes.  Manly because it is the cause of something bigger going on that we have yet to figure out.  We thought that in the spring we figured it out.  I had a major lung flare up because of my allergies.  But I am on allergy medication, and my allergies are under control at the moment.  So we rule that out.  Going on steroids is not done lightly by any doctor.  But I am thankful for them.  And I am thankful that I have a doctor who I trust.  I love that I told Jason I would never go on them again.  But here I am dosed up and feeling horrible already.  My head is killing me, I am shaky and I feel sick to my stomach.  I usually do not write when I hurt so bad.  But I wanted to so that my family and friends will know that I would love your prayers.  Prayers to figure out what in the world is going on with my lungs.  Prayers that I will be good at feeling nasty.  Prayers that I will stay close to my God as He hands me this trouble.  Prayers that I would bless my lovely family while I am sick.  Prayers that I would not have insomnia this time around.  My mom died of lung disease.  And watching her die was painful.  Lung disease is a brutal beast.  I want to kill it and have victory over it.  I want to beat it for my mom.  I still remember walking into the ICU when I was 18 and seeing my mom ravaged and beaten on life-support.  I thought I would be strong when I walked in.  I thought that I could handle seeing her.  I walked in, looked at her, gasped and left quickly in tears.  I want to beat this thing.  I want to hold my great-grandchildren.  Pray that we figure it out.  My mom was undignosed until the day she ended up on life support.  She lived only 4 more years after that.  She finally found a good doctor when she got super sick.  But it was too late.  He told us that.  I want a different story.  I have a doctor is pro-active and trying to figure out the "why" behind it all.  So my story is already different.  I am so blessed to have such supportive family, doctors and friends.  I just kept thinking that it would all just go away.  Ignore, ignore, ignore.  But I am motivated to figure this out so that I can better care for my family.  God gives us all of our days.  He knows them all.  Everyday I get to live for Jesus is a gift.  Health is a gift.  Having it taken away is the main means that God has used to change me.  I do pray that I come through this looking more like Jesus.  I do pray that I will reflect His glory more in this trial.  I have a smile on my face.  It does not stay on for long because it hurts my head to smile but my heart is thankful.  And I am honored to be worthy to walk through this trial.  May Jesus be seen clearly in the Farley home as we go through this together.

Thanks for all of your prayers.  I will probably not be around for awhile.

Blessings,
Erin

Discipleship

People do things for a reason.  Shocking I know.  We all are motivated to get up in the morning.  We take care of our families.  We are women who understand the need for mom to be around.  We understand that we are doing our children and husband a great service by staying out of the "work force" and tending to the real work of family life in the home.  We could continue to talk about the host of other things that we do better then the world.  We sure do know that educating our children is important and that we would never put our kids in the devils academy.  I mean can you believe that some people do that?!!!  We are a thinking people.  We make decision based on biblical principles.  Do not sacrifice your children to Molech (or we could say public schools!).  It is really easy to justify and defend why we do what we do.  But I have noticed a temptation here.  Once we make the big decisions, we feel that we are done.   Illustrate this please.  Ok, we know that we need to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.  This translates into seeking to educate our children thoughtfully and under God's care.  We pick a good christian school or homeschool to be faithful to this command.  Good and well done.  So we  start our homeschool year.  Or we put them in a good school.  This is not where we end however.  We go from glory to glory all of the time.  We don't figure something out and then have done with it.  For homeschooling families, you constantly have to fight to have Christ at the center of your time, your curriculum and in every lesson that you teach them in and out of the working school day.  Parents of day schoolers have the same battle.  We put our children in school not so that we get some time off  but we put them in school and walk alongside them.  We know the teachers.  Know what the teachers think of our children and work on the character issue that arise.  We constantly make sure that we know what they are learning.  We make sure that we know their friends.  We should know what games their playing at recess.  Who they have issues with and what issues our own children have.  Discipleship is the name of the game.  It does not end when we decide to follow Christ, it is something that we do everyday, every minute. And this is the pattern.  Not to make super godly decision and then idolize them.  Or make super godly decisions and then think we have done our bit.  We are walking, running, fighting, at all times of this Christian walk.  David finds all of the men of battle sitting down and not fighting the nation of Philisti.  David walks in and takes on the giant.  It was good and right for Saul to go to battle with the Philistians.  But when he got to the battle, he sat down and did nothing.  David is the hero, the example in this story.  And David is victorious over his enemies again and again.  We are not just called to make "good" decisions, we are called to get up everyday and walk hard after Christ in all that we do.  If we stay home with the kids, we get better and better at it.  If we send our kids to school, we get better and better at this.  If we homeschool, we get better and better at it.  Christians are disciples.  Disciples follow hard after Christ.  We did decide to follow Christ but we must continue on in our walk following Him in all ways.  Keep making godly choices.  Renew again and again your love and zeal for this Christian life.  Change and change and then change some more, more into the likeness of Jesus.  Our choices may change.  Our choices may stay the same. But in both we should be changing, our hearts should continually be drawing closer to Christ.   We do all things for the glory of God and our hearts being refined is a big part of this.  The disciples dropped all they had and followed Jesus.  But that first day was the beginning for them.  They where not done when they started following Jesus.  We are to be like the disciples.  We begin as they did and drop all we have and follow Jesus. We stay strong in the thick of our troubles and stay by Jesus.  And when our end comes, we continue to walk through the valley of death with Jesus at our side.  They grew stronger everyday they walked with Jesus.  The church was built on their blood.  Did they have any clue about their end in those first days they spent with Jesus? No!!  But God changes us as we stay close to Him.  He makes us ready for all things.  He changes us and puts His glory in and on us.  We are only a light when we stay close to the Sun.  We follow hard after Jesus at all stages of our walks, in all manner of choices that arise.  We do all for the glory of God giving thanks to Him for all things.  And we remember daily that we are going somewhere and that we are meant for glory.

Stay close to God in all of your decisions, new and old.  Make the old new again by continually bringing your ways before God and asking Him to make you more and more like Jesus.

Disobedience to Friendship

I am done with Exodus.  I do love this book.  It is so full.  I love knowing that I will read for the rest of my life and still find things to shock and teach me.  I love how the story ends.  Exodus is a story of God drawing His people close to Him.  In Genesis we have God drawing close to individuals.  In Exodus we see God drawing close to the nation of Israel.

God called Israel to separate herself by worship.  Her worship was to distinguish her.  She worshiped one God.  She worshiped the High King of Heaven.  God was revealing Himself to His people in a way He had not done before.  God was also showing Pharoah that He was in charge and that His people would be free to worship Him on His holy mountain.  We learn from this part of the narrative a fundamental truth.  Worship changes us, worship defines us.  This is why idolatry is such a problem....you will become what you worship.  God wanted Israel to be different the nations around them.  He gave them a law.  He gave them ordinances.  He gave them a calender with holy days to observe.  He gave them food laws.  All of these He gave as grace.  All of these He gave as a means for His people to fellowship with Him.  And all of these things when obeyed in faith, changed them for glory.  

The tabernacle is a huge part of Exodus.  It is easy to skip over it.  Easy to think that the measurements, detail of fabric and metals is not significant.  Or maybe we know that it is significant but we are not sure what it all means.  Lets look at some of the obvious things found out about the tabernacle.  The tabernacle is a meeting place.  God will meet with His people here.  Think back to Genesis.  How is this different from the way God treated His people then?  We see Noah make an alter.  We see Abraham worship God.  We see Jacob make alters.  But there is no house.  There are no regular meeting times.  And there was no nation in Genesis, just the beginning and the promise.  God wants to be near His people.  He will continue to get closer to His people throughout the Old Testament and we find the ultimate closeness with God when He sends the Holy Spirit on Pentacost.  So we have a house, a meeting place for God and His people.  This tabernacle is broken into three parts.  Holy of Holy's, Holy place and courtyard.  All three are important.  These three parts reflect creation as a whole.  God also establishes the Levites to be Priests and to minister in the tabernacle.  This is a huge calling.  The priestly duties where extensive.  The courtyard is where the people come to worship.  This is where sacrifices are made.  The tabernacle is a huge part of Exodus.  It is important to note also that this was a "tent" church.  The brought this with them as they wondered in the wilderness.  God's cloud came to rest over it and it guided the Israelites in their wanderings.  We see in the tabernacle organized worship becoming mandated  by God.  God's people are drawing nearer to Him.

In Exodus we also have the nation of Israel fighting their first war.  This is an amazing battle, we might call it epic.  Moses stands on a hill.  He has Aaron on one side and Hur on the other.  The strategy is simple.  God gives victory when Moses hands are raised.  The Israelites start loosing when Moses drops his arms.  Oh come on.  This sounds too easy.  But stand up and try to see how long you last.  Good thing Moses had some helpers!!  What we learn from this little scene, is that the Israel is becoming a might nation, a war winning nation.  Do not mess with this group and their God.  And the Israelites learn that the battle is the Lord's and that He is their deliverer again and again.

Are you getting the picture that this book is massive!  There are so many other stories in here.  We have the ridiculous incident with the calf.  We have massive internal manslaughter as a punishement for the calf indiscretion.  We have a new way to worship.  We have holy food falling from the sky.  We have water pouring forth from the rock (the rock we later find out is Christ).  We have the glorious ten commandments.  And there is that whole thing about Egypt and God sending plagues.  Passover, new calender, Joshue leading and training an army.  So many amazing things and the end scene sums up the book.  We have a wonderful scene with Moses in a tent of meeting, sitting and talking to God face to face as friends.  Remember the begining of Moses' journey with God.  It was one of disobedience and lack of faith.  But God.....and here at the end we have God meeting and talking to Moses as a friend.  And that is the whole point for us as well.  God wants to be friends with us.  He wants us to draw in worship.  To draw near in a way that changes us.

Exodus is full and it has Jesus on every page.  Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. Because of Him we have fellowship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  He busted the Israelites out of Egypt.  It was His blood on the doorposts that made the angel of death pass over.  He was the rock in the wilderness that gave the water.  He is the reason that the sacrifices "worked."  He was the fulfillment of the ten commandments.  Jesus is in every story in the book of Exodus. If you do not see Him when you are reading this book, then you are missing the point.  God wants to draw near to a people that do not want Him.  But He sends Jesus anyway.  He gives us grace regardless of what we want.  And thanks be to God that He did, does and will give us that same grace again and again.

I can always identify with the Moses that we find in the beginning of the book.  But it is so hard to be humble enough to say that I am a friend of God.  God does call me friend.  It is not because I am worthy of such a thing.  It is because God is.  God is my rock and deliver and yes He is even my friend.  This makes me want to be a better a wife, a better mother, a better church member.  I am a friend with the God of heaven and I want my face to shine like Moses'.  I want the city of Santa Cruz to know that their is something going on with our little church because we reflect our Father's glory in how we love our families.  I want my life to be a light to this dark place; this place full of idols and fake peace.  I want to be wise and want what is good and right and forsake the ways of this world.  I want Exodus in my life again and again.  I want to worship God so that this city will know who my God is.  And that will know that is God indeed and that there is none like him.  There is none like Him and He alone is to be praised.  It took Pharaoh a lot to be persuaded that God is God.  I want my heart soft to Him and hard to the world, not the other way around.  Man pleasers end up dead in the Jordan.  But God brought His people through and gave them a land flowing with milk and honey.  What is the price? Look at this book again and again.  Take the road of friendship with God.  Take the road that leads to blessings forever more.  But remember in this story, in this book the tails of the unfaithful. Exodus teaches us that we are to have one God.  We are to keep our hearts on Him and Him only.  We are to seek hard after Him and remember His ways.  He delivers us so that we can worship Him.  When we worship Him we are transformed into the likeness of His Son and when this happens we find that we are friends with the Maker of heaven and earth.

I Know How Much Syrup Is (and was) In the Bottle

Cedric is many things.  One of the them is a chef.  He helps with breakfast so often and is a huge blessing.  Today he manned the french toast.  I got things set up and left him to it.  I was busy getting everything ready for the day.  When I came to the table, the syrup was out, plates and forks where out and  Malachi and Cedric where eating their breakfast happily.  Cedric just turned 7.  Most moms would enter this scene and see that this little man is quite wonderful.  He is so competent in the kitchen and takes great care of his younger brother.  Cedric really should get a medal for "awesomeness."  But oh no, that is not what happened next.  Big bad mom enters the scene and what does she notice first......why has such much syrup been consumed!!!  Seriously, the injustice of the kids pouring too much syrup on their french toast!!  I mean, don't they know how much that stuff costs (I bought the real stuff after all).  And don't they know that I did not budget this in on my next grocery outing.  I was so put out.  I did a little investigating at this point.  I wanted to know who the culprit was!

I often pray and talk with mi hermanas about this little problem of being hyper-focused on the wrong things.  I keep track of things without knowing that I am doing it.  Seriously, who remembers how much syrup is in the bottle from the last time we used it?  This is such a good question.  I have a photo-graphic memory for things like this!!  And the next question one must ask is, who really cares?  I do!!  So I know my problem.  I know that it is petty and missing the greater point.  In this scene of my son being super awesome I point out that someone used too much syrup.  Talk about a really big squash fest.  

I am so glad that God does not treat me this way.  I bring him broken offerings and He delights in them! He uses my insufficient-ness by applying Christ's blood to it.  It is like the sacrifices of old.  Like a lamb, or a calf took away sins.  No, it has been and always will be the blood of Christ that changes us.  And this is all grace.  Grace changes us.  Not the big, bad critical mom.  I am a child.  My son is a child.  I have a different standard then God.  You would think that the Perfect one would be critical.  But no.  He knows that I could not fulfill the law.  He knew in the garden.  He knew when He gave the ten commandments.  He knew when he set up the sacrificial system.  He knew when He sent priests, judges, kings.....He knew that all of us throughout all time needed the same thing.  Jesus.  And it is Jesus everytime!

Here is to better imitating our Savior.  Here is to better imitating our Father.  And here is to getting over how much syrup is in the bottle!!!